


Can You Be Mine Forever?

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Series: Forever [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Breaking Up & Making Up, Confessions, Established Relationship, Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Marriage, Misunderstandings, One-Sided Attraction, Resolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 06:02:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: After staying apart for two years, somehow, Dick found his way back to Jason and they've been happy. They're in love and nothing other than that should matter. But as a wedding is announced, one where Bruce and Clark will finally tie the knot, this decision brings up past memories, past relationships that refuse to be forgotten. With tensions rising in the Wayne manor, not only does Dick need to keep his new family together but also resolve the uneasiness in his own heart.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Series: Forever [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1679155
Comments: 13
Kudos: 50





	1. Respirate

**Author's Note:**

> Song: beauty is not a need, she is an ecstasy (respirate) by Crywolf

Four years ago, waking up seemed like a chore to Dick. When the sun’s light filtered in through his bedroom window and dragged across the floor to embrace him, he sometimes wondered why the new day had begun. He wondered why he was still forced to face an uncertain tomorrow.

Four years ago, Dick sometimes closed his eyes and wished he never had to open them again, too weak to face the cold, to face his own loneliness. Even though he was loved by his friends, and always had a hand reaching out to help, he was so lost in his self-loathing that he couldn’t see the light that was just around the corner.

But now, when his phone buzzed to signal the new day, instead of cursing his luck, Dick smiled. He kissed the man sleeping next to him, slipped out of the bed and headed to the washroom, wanting to start face this day feeling fresh. When he glanced in the mirror, he noticed that the darkness under his eyes had receded and is pale skin looked more alive now. Instead of slimming down and losing a few pounds because he didn’t take care of himself, he was healthy. After so long, Dick was happy. And the reason for that wasn’t someone else.

Dick was the reason for his own happiness.

Feeling good about everything, Dick smiled to himself as he took a quick shower, bobbing his head to a song in his head as water rained down on him. He hummed a bit, danced a bit and giggled with embarrassment when he realized what he was doing.

“I’m such a child,” he muttered to himself as he turned off the water and grabbed a towel to dry himself.

When he got out of the washroom, the bed was empty which meant that Jason had woken up. That wasn’t surprising. While Jason was a heavy sleeper, for some reason, if Dick wasn’t by his side, he would immediately wake up.

_‘You don’t get it, Dickie,’_ Jason had once explained, burying his face in Dick’s shoulder. _‘You’re my lullaby. Only the sound of your heartbeat can help me sleep through the night.’_

Dick had scoffed when Jason had said that, rolling his eyes to pretend that his cheeks weren’t as red as a tomato. But at the end, despite the cheesy line, he had agreed to move in with Jason. Now, instead of living in Bludhaven, Dick was back in Gotham, enjoying the view from a penthouse apartment.

Once he was done drying his hair, Dick was just about to get dressed when strong arms wrapped around his waist as Jason dropped a kiss on his neck.

“Morning,” he murmured, nuzzling Dick and bringing a smile to his face.

“Sleep well?” Dick asked, his eyes fluttering shut as Jason’s grip around him tightened, trailing kisses up his neck and nibbling on his ear.

Instead of answering the question, Jason turned Dick around and caught his lips in a kiss too passionate for the morning, especially when they were both running late for work. But instead of pulling away, Dick pressed closer to his boyfriend and deepened the kiss.

Whatever Jason had planned for the morning, it wasn’t going to be anything innocent and maybe Dick should have been the wiser one. But he could only melt under his boyfriend’s touch.

“You’re still soft from last night,” Jason whispered against his ear, breath hot as his fingers pressed against Dick’s hole.

“You’re insatiable.”

“It’s your fault for being so hot.” Jason grinned as he worked on loosening up Dick.

As fingers pushed in and out of him, scissoring him open and stimulating every good spot, Dick clung onto Jason, head buried in his shoulder and eyes shut. He was riding a wave of pleasure, sighing and moaning as Jason listened carefully, letting Dick’s voice be his guide.

Sex between them always became a bit rough, even without trying but that never stopped Jason from being attentive. He touched only when he knew Dick was okay with it, watching his every expression, listening to his voice and his needs before making a move. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Dick by being careless, something that the older always appreciated.

“You ready for me?” Jason finally asked and Dick nodded.

“Fuck yes.”

Dick knew he was running late. He should have been out the door and on his way to work a while ago. But as Jason’s thick cock pressed against his entrance, pushing in without any resistance, he couldn’t care less. Maybe he’d call his boss when he was ready and tell him that his bike had suddenly stopped working which is why he would reach the gym in the afternoon. For now, he wrapped his legs around Jason’s waist, kissing him deeply as he was pressed against the cupboard.

It was strange how Dick had lived two years of his life without Jason by his side, without his touch, his husky voice early in the morning, the smile that spread across his face when he was happy, the way he held onto Dick and whispered _I love you._ Right now, Jason’s very existence seemed to crucial for Dick’s survival. He never wanted to lose this moment, Jason or the bond they shared. Because if being apart had taught him one thing, it was that this was it. He’d never love anyone the way he loved Jason.

“By the way.” Jason grinned as he picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming hard and fast enough to make Dick’s eyes roll in the back of his head. “Today’s your day off.”

And if it was any other situation, Dick would have laughed. He would have pouted because Jason could have reminded him sooner.

But for now, he held onto Jason, fingernails digging into his skin as a string of _ah-ah-ah’s_ left his lips, the sound of his moans getting louder the closer he got to the end. Soon’s he was spilling all over his chest, eyes widening as Jason finished inside of him.

“You’re. An. Ass,” Dick finally managed to say, making Jason chuckle as he carried him to the washroom to get cleaned up.

After cleaning up, instead of getting dressed for work, Dick was sitting by the kitchen island in Jason’s old red hoodie and a pair of shorts, watching as his boyfriend made breakfast. He didn’t know how Jason had the energy to cook after the session they had in the morning. If Dick had to pick, he would have been munch on cereal by now but for some reason, Jason insisted on a more nutritious breakfast, sometimes going as far as to hide the boxes of Crocky Crunch that Dick bought.

“We have to head to the manor around four today,” Jason said as he plated up breakfast.

On today’s menu, they had bacon and fried eggs. Toast, optional.

“What do you think Bruce wants to tell us?” Dick asked, opening the fridge to get some juice for both of them.

Jason shrugged as he dug into his food.

A few months ago, a very nervous Bruce had shown up at Dick and Jason’s apartment without any warning, asking them what the best way to propose would be. Considering the circumstance under which Bruce had gotten married to Talia, Dick wasn’t surprised that he was so nervous about proposing but watching him pace around in their apartment, chewing on his lower lip and shutting down his own ideas was a bizarre sight. After all, usually, Bruce was so sure of himself, never needing help to solve his problems. But then again, that was probably because until now, he had never met someone like Clark Kent.

Eventually, the proposal happened over dinner on the date that Bruce had met Clark for the first time. While it wasn’t anything extravagant, Clark had almost cried as he said yes. And since then, the two of them had been planning their wedding which meant more frequent dinners at Wayne Manor for everyone. Dinners that were compulsory to attend, to the point that Cass had to fly in from New York where she was doing her major in dance.

The first time was to meet Clark’s family, the second was to announce the date and so on. Damian kept grumbling about how he needed Bruce to just email everyone the details like a normal person. But Dick thought it was cute how they wanted to celebrate their happiness with the whole family.

“Maybe Bruce wants to announce the flowers they’ll be using to decorate the venue,” Jason said and Dick shook his head.

“You sound just like Dami.”

“I take full offence to that. I’m nothing like the demon brat.”

“You and Tim need to stop calling him that!”

“Eh.”

As Jason grinned, Dick just sighed and ate his dinner. No matter how many years passed, the Wayne brothers just refused to grow up.

“So, until we have to leave, what do you wanna do?” Jason asked wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well.” Dick smiled, leaning closer to his boyfriend. “We both have the day off and there’s so much time left before we have to leave. There’s only one thing in my mind.”

Jason smiled, mirroring Dick’s expression.

“A nap?” he asked.

“God, yes!”

The ride to Wayne manor was mostly a quiet one, except for the times when Dick’s favourite songs were played on the radio and he couldn’t help but sing along with Jason. They laughed, held hands through the way and just sat in a comfortable silence, watching the city disappear as they entered the grounds of the Wayne property.

The moment Dick stepped into Wayne Manor after greeting Alfred who quickly excused himself and went back to the kitchen, he was ambushed by Damian and Tim.

“Grayson! I demand that you spend some time with me today,” Damian ordered as he stood close enough to Dick for a hug, to shy to initiate on his own.

_A tsundere_ was how Tim described Damian’s behaviour. Everyone knew that the younger liked to be held, especially by Dick and his close friend Collin but he would never admit it.

Throwing an arm around Damian, Dick smiled at the younger. “Whatever you want, little D.”

Damian clicked his tongue but he seemed pleased.

“Hey, I want to have some time with Dick as well.” Tim butted in as he clung to Dick’s free side.

“Well, I asked first. You can try next time, Drake.”

“You monopolize Dick every time he’s in the manor so maybe this time you should back off.”

“I will not!”

Rolling his eyes, Jason grabbed Dick and pulled him away from his brothers, giving both of them an unimpressed look. “It’s good to see you guys as well. I’ve been doing fine, thank you for asking and yes, I missed you too, baby brothers.”

“Ugh, no one cares about you, Todd.” Damian made a disgusted face.

“Clearly.”

As the three brothers glared at one another, it took everything Dick had to not laugh at how adorable they were. It had almost become customary for them to fight each other for Dick’s attention.

“Dick’s here?” A loud voice came from the kitchen and Damian let out a frustrated huff.

Soon, Stephanie was bounding down the common room and into Dick’s arms, Cass close on her heels.

“I missed you,” the blonde squealed, hugging Dick tight.

Cass, on the other hand, tugged on his shirt and gave him a small smile to let him know that she felt the same as Steph.

“So, we fighting over Dick’s time?” Stephanie asked, glancing at the Wayne brothers.

“No, we are not,” Jason announced, grabbing Dick’s shoulders. “He is my date so he will be with me during our stay.”

Cass covered her mouth and made a farting sound. To that, Tim nodded.

“I agree.”

“Yeah! You live with Dick which means you don’t get to compete!” Steph chimed in.

The right thing for Dick to do would be to intervene and ending the childish fight. But as everyone ganged up on Jason, he decided to stand back and watch his boyfriend tried to reason with his siblings only to fail. Dick didn’t know how but he’d somehow made a place for himself in the hearts of everyone in the Wayne family, a bond meant something. And it was in moments like these that he felt loved.

“Listen here—” Jason started but was quickly cut-off by Damian.

“It is decided then. Todd is out of the competition. And since I am the youngest of the lot, technically, I should be the one who gets Grayson’s absolute attention.”

“Don’t worry, Dami. If you poop your pants, we’ll hire someone to change your diapers. Anyway, Dick is our guest and he shouldn’t be the one taking care of the family runt. Maybe Jason can do that instead.” Tim smiled but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Does that mean Dami is out as well?” Steph asked.

“I most certainly am not!” Damian growled and turned his attention to Tim. “Anyway Drake, don’t you have work? After all the disastrous business decisions you’ve made, one would think you don’t have time to fool around, lest father’s company be brought to ruins.”

Wide-eyed, Dick glanced at Jason who just shook his head, clearly too tired to pull his siblings apart before fists started flying.

“We let Dick decide,” Cass stepped in, her voice low but clear enough to cut through any argument about to take place.

Her word was absolute and everyone turned to Dick, waiting for his answer.

Giving Cass’s hand a grateful squeeze, Dick smiled everyone, a clear plan in his head.

“We’ll spend time together until dinner. What do you all say to game night?”

Considering how competitive everyone in the room was, game night could go either way. They could have the time of their lives or Damian could pull out his katana and send everyone running. Whatever the outcome, they would have fun and that was the only thing that mattered to Dick.

Though, in hindsight, picking monopoly was probably not the best decision.

“This cannot be!” Damian said, knees on the floor. “I am the son of Bruce Wayne and Talia Al-Ghul! I cannot be bankrupt.”

Tim grinned at that. “Yet you are.”

Unable to help himself, Dick laughed, curled up against Jason who instead of playing the game was playing with his hair.

“I demand a rematch!” Damian growled.

“No can do.” Steph shook her head. “It’s going to be time for dinner.”

And as if on cue, Alfred appeared to inform them that Bruce had come back home. Dinner would be served in five minutes so they were all to wash up and get ready.

One by one, everyone left the common room as Dick stayed behind to put the game away. He had just started picking up the pieces when Jason pulled him close, burying his face in Dick’s hair.

“Finally, I get you alone,” he murmured, sounding exhausted.

“You always have me alone, Jay.” Dick laughed.

“Not when we’re at the manor and I have to fight off my siblings. Which wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t enjoy it so damn much.”

“I don’t enjoy it,” Dick tried to lie but Jason just rolled his eyes.

“Save it, Grayson,” he said, getting to his feet and holding out a hand for Dick. “Come on, let’s go. The brats can clear up their mess.”

Smiling up at his boyfriend, Dick took Jason’s hand and they both headed to the dining room where Bruce and Clark were waiting for everyone. Together, the two of them looked so happy that it warmed Dick’s heart.

“Dick! I’m so glad you could make it!” Clark exclaimed as Dick took his seat beside Jason.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“I know these sudden dinners annoy everyone,” Clark said, his eyes flickering to Jason who cleared his throat. “But after having one failed marriage, most people can’t hope for a second chance at love. Bruce and I have been lucky in that matter and I’m just glad that the people we care about our here to share in our happiness.”

While Bruce had his past with Talia, before meeting his current fiancé, Clark had been married to a woman named Lois Lane. They used to work together, dated for a while and soon got hitched. They were happy until they weren’t. Life got busy, they barely saw each other despite working in the same office and soon enough, they realized that the love between them had faded. Clark’s divorce with his wife wasn’t dramatic but it was hard, especially since they had a son together. Fortunately, he was still on good terms with Lois and saw his son, Jon often.

Reaching out, Bruce intertwined his fingers with Clark’s, smiling warmly.

For some reason, seeing them this way, Jason’s expression turned neutral as he held onto Dick’s hand, tracing over his ring finger. This was something Jason did often but Dick couldn’t understand why.

Before everything with Talia went down, Jason who had been so in love, propose to Dick and Dick had said yes. They were going to get married and spend the rest of their lives together, a commitment that Dick never thought he’d make to anyone. But then Jason had left and everything had fallen apart.

While they were back together again, the idea of marriage didn’t sit well with Dick. The last time he went down this road, things didn’t work out and even though he was happy with Jason, a part of him was afraid that history would repeat itself. Jason, on the other hand, never spoke about marriage or anything of that sort. Dick didn’t know what he thought about their future. It was something they never spoke of.

If Jason did propose, would Dick be able to say yes? Would he want to say yes?

Shaking those thoughts away, Dick turned his attention to Clark. Now was not the time to worry about the future.

“Will Lois and Jon be joining us?” Dick asked but Clark shook his head.

“Not today. Though a distant cousin of mine is coming in.”

“Oh?”

“We haven’t always been close but after I moved to Metropolis, he moved in with my parents and took care of them when I couldn’t. While we don’t always see eye to eye, he has played an important life in my life by just making everything easier.”

Just then, Tim walked in followed by a grumpy Damian, ending the conversation about Clark’s cousin. Soon, Steph and Cass had joined the group. With everyone on the table, dinner began. Clark’s mysterious cousin was going to be a bit late.

“So, I’m sure you’re all wondering why we’ve called you here today,” Bruce started, giving Clark a quick smile.

“Probably to announce their choice of flowers,” Damian muttered under his breath.

Dick grinned at Jason who looked away embarrassed.

“Clark and I have finally settled on our best men for the wedding and we were planning to ask them today if they would accept.”

Silence fell over the table as everyone stared at Bruce, waiting intently to see who he had chosen. After all, this was a discussion that the Wayne children had after Bruce announced his engagement. The top choice was always Jason, followed by Tim. Even Damian agreed that he was a bit too young for this responsibility, nor did he want it. While he knew that Bruce would never get back together with Talia, seeing his father marry someone else was still strange for him.

“Richard,” Bruce suddenly said, snapping Dick out of his thoughts. “Would you be my best man?”

For a while, Dick stared at Bruce. There had to be something wrong because Bruce couldn’t have asked him to be the best man, not over his own sons. Dick had to be imagining this scenario.

“I told you he would be too shocked to react,” Jason said with a knowing smile.

Had he known all along?

“I don’t know why he should be,” said Bruce. “Richard, you’re just as important to me as any of my children. And I wouldn’t be getting married to this beautiful man if it weren’t for your help. You sat with me and helped me plan my proposal down to the detail, calming me down when my emotions got the best of me. I would most certainly want you as my best man.”

“I—” Dick started, not having the words to explain what he was feeling.

“And my children aren’t the only ones who want to spend time with you.” Bruce smiled warmly.

While it was embarrassing and maybe too dramatic, Dick found himself crying at Bruce’s words. Even though he had been dating Jason for two years now and had been showered with affection by everyone in the Wayne’s, knowing that he was seen as family still came as shock to him. For someone who had no one, this realization was overwhelming.

“Will you be my best man?” Bruce asked again and unable to form words, Dick just nodded.

Chuckling to himself, Jason wrapped his arms around Dick’s shoulder, wiped away his tears and just held him close.

Then, the doorbell rang.

“And that must be my best man,” Clark said, getting to his feet.

“You’re so cute,” Jason whispered as Clark went to greet his guest.

“Shut up,” Dick whined, smacking Jason’s shoulder half-heartedly. “You could have given me a warning.”

“And ruined the surprise? No way.”

“You’re an ass.”

“But you love me anyway.”

“Debatable.”

Grinning, Jason kissed the side of Dick’s head while Damian made gagging noises.

Soon, Clark’s voice filtered through the air mixed with another. As he walked into the dinner hall, Dick finally saw his cousin.

With black hair, blue eyes and a sharp jawline, Clark’s cousin looked like a younger version of him. The only difference between the two was their smiles. While Clark’s was warm and welcoming, his cousin’s was arrogant and enough to let anyone know that he was up to no good.

“Everyone, this is my brother, Conner,” Clark introduced. “Conner this is my fiancé, Bruce.”

“Hey,” Conner said, holding out his hand.

“And these are his kids. Jason, Cass, Damian and –”

For some reason, the smile on Conner’s face faded, eyes widening with surprise as he cut Clark off. “Tim?” he called out.

Glancing back at Tim, Dick noticed that younger’s face had gone pale and he was trembling as his fingers gripped the dinner table. Guilt flickered in his blue eyes.

“You are Tim, aren’t you?” Conner asked, the surprise fading away, replaced by relief.

Everyone stared at Tim, waiting for him to answer, to say something and explain why he looked so scared. But as his lips moved, no words came out of his mouth. Instead, with a shake of his head, Tim ran away.


	2. The Reason Why I Gave Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The Reason Why I Gave Up Music by Yorushika

There was a time when Tim believed that his love was a curse, one that killed the people it touched.

First, he lost his mother to poisoning, an end that most would call dramatic but living in Gotham had never been easy, especially when one had to carry the weight that came with being a Drake. It was a kidnapping incident gone wrong. _We tried our best_ the police had said, looking sympathetic. Tim wanted to blame them for being too late. He wanted to be angry at someone because his mother had been taken away from him. But he couldn’t. If it wasn’t for the police, his father would have met the same end. Not that his condition after the kidnapping was anything to brag about. While Janet Drake had succumbed to poisoning, Jack Drake had been left crippled.

At the age of fifteen, as Tim saw his father weak, crying for someone who would never return, he was sure that he was dreaming. Any moment now, he would be jarred awake, back into a world where his parents were distant but breathing. That’s all he wanted. And that was all he never got.

But at least, Tim had his father. He wasn’t alone.

Until he was.

Everything had been going so well. Tim’s father was slowly recovering from his wounds, going to therapy and regaining function of his legs. Day by day, he was slowly becoming the person he used to be, the person who patted Tim’s head and told him that he was loved. With the company soaring and the world seeming a bit brighter than before, nothing was supposed to go wrong. Tim and his father were supposed to heal from the past, put it behind them and start a new chapter of their lives.

And then, Jack Drake passed away, murdered in his own home.

Tim was in Kansas when it happened, too far to see the storm clouds gathering over his house. When his high school friends asked him to go on a trip with them, somewhere lowkey, a place that wasn’t Gotham, Tim didn’t see the harm in it. He let his father know, packed his bags and promised to be home soon. Little did Tim know that when he got back to Gotham, he wouldn’t be greeted by his father’s smiling face. Instead, he’d walk back into a house that smelled of blood and decay, as if something had died in there and never been discovered.

Even though it had been years since his father’s death, if someone asked Tim to describe him in the state he was found, he could describe every detail so perfectly. The way blood splattered the wall and the floor, pooling around his father’s body, sneaking under the bed. His father’s face that told everyone he had accepted his fate, as if he knew what was going to happen. And lastly, the voice message he’d left Tim.

_I love you, Timothy._

It was such a simple message, one that Tim wouldn’t have thought much of the first time he heard it. The true implication behind his father’s words only made sense on the day of his funeral, as he was put six feet under the ground.

Tim hadn’t cried, not then. Not for a few years after.

Instead, he lived his new life as Wayne with no consideration for the people around him. He wasn’t a bad person. Tim had not been brought up that way. But he never let anyone in either, maintaining a distance from his new family. It was easier that way. Even if his actions hurt Bruce who only wanted Tim to be happy or Jason who tried his best to be a good brother, it didn’t matter. As long as Tim didn’t let them in, they would stay alive.

  


  


_“You know, I just noticed,” Conner started as he raised himself above Tim, smiling sweetly. “Your eyes are as blue as the Kansas Sky.”_

_He said those words with such sincerity and yet, Tim found himself laughing._

_“I can’t believe you just said that.” He giggled while Conner pouted._

_“Laugh at me all you want but it’s true… blue.”_

_“Oh, god.”_

_When Tim had agreed to his friend Cassie’s strange plan of visiting Kansas of all places, the only thing he was expecting was to sleep all day if he was lucky. Since Bart was joining them on the trip, there was bound to be chaos because the brunette simply couldn’t sit still for more than five minutes. He was always out and about, looking for trouble and creating it if he couldn’t find any. Cassie, on the other hand, was good at keeping Bart in check but most of the time, he managed to elude her, leaving Tim to deal with everything._

_Because of this, he had gotten the nickname ‘The Bart whisperer’, something that Tim wasn’t particularly proud of._

_Tim had no expectations from Kansas. None at all. But as his car pulled into the farm where they would be staying with a local family, it was as if the Gods had finally decided to give him a reward for being so good. A reward that came in the form of a tall, sun-kissed Kansas boy with sky blue eyes. ‘Conner Kent,’ he had introduced himself while shooting Tim a smile that made him weak in the knees. ‘But everyone just calls me Kon.’_

_Tim didn’t really get the nickname but he didn’t care. The only thing he cared about was Conner’s sexuality. It was never fun to crush on straight guys._

_At the beginning of their stay, Tim had convinced himself that Conner was probably straight, especially since he had caught him flirting with Cassie. Even if he was bi or something, why would he look at Tim when someone as beautiful as Cassie was around?_

_But despite his reluctance to be around Conner or have any feelings for him, here Tim was lying under the blue sky with him._

_“Roll your eyes as much as you want, Blue. We both know I make your beat like crazy with every word I say.” Conner smirked._

_Tim opened his mouth to protest. He would never agree with those words even if they were true. But before he could even make a sound, Conner was kissing him and nothing else really mattered._

_  
_

_  
_

Tim’s days in Kansas were amazing, somehow making up the best days of his life as he spent each waking moment with Conner by his side.

It wasn’t like Tim to actually hold hands with someone until he knew them well enough, let alone fall so fast that he could hardly breathe. But being with Conner changed everything, it changed his ideas about love, about what he wanted and who he wanted to be. Their way of living, their way of thinking, just everything about them was so different. Yet, they fit together like pieces of a puzzle. And Tim hated that.

As much as he wanted to be with Conner, he would eventually have to leave Kansas and go back to Gotham, back to the expectations that people had of him, something that Conner didn’t seem to understand.

 _“Why does it matter what people think of you?”_ he had asked one day as Tim, for the first time, opened up about his worries regarding the future. _“People will talk if they want to. You could be the most perfect person on this planet but that won’t stop them. So maybe instead of worrying about their opinions, you should live your life for yourself and no one else.”_

 _“That’s an easy thing to say, Kon,”_ Tim had complained. _“It’s not easy to do.”_

At that, Conner had smiled. _“Tim, I don’t think there’s anything in this world that you can’t do.”_

Conner was perfect. He was so damn perfect and Tim never wanted to let go of him. Hell, they’d even promised that they would stay in touch after schools reopened, exchanging numbers and following one another on every form of social media. They even had a plan in place. When Tim could, he would fly out to see Conner in Kansas and in Metropolis when he would drop by to meet his cousin. After graduation, maybe they’d go on a trip together, just the two of them and while Conner didn’t really have any plans for college, they could still be together in the same city. Most of all, they would try to Facetime every day.

With that plan in mind, feeling confident about the future, Tim had gone back to Gotham, only to find that his world had been flipped upside down.

  


  


  


_“I really wish you didn’t have to leave,” Conner whispered as he held Tim close._

_Tonight was their last night together because in the morning, Tim and his friends would go back to Gotham. Summer vacations had come to an end and schools were reopening. While Cassie had tried to push the idea of maybe missing a day or two, wanting to stay in Kansas a little longer for some fun and for Tim’s sake, she knew it wasn’t going to happen. The Kent’s may not have cared if the trio stayed a little longer but Cassie’s aunt Diana definitely would. When she had made arrangements for this trip, she had been very particular about Cassie not missing any classes._

_“I don’t want to go,” Tim sighed as he leaned his head against Conner’s._

_Right now, instead of being in bed, the two of them were hiding away in the barn, spending as much time as they could before their inevitable separation._

_“Promise you won’t forget about me once you get back to the big city?” Conner asked and while he was smirking, there was worry in his eyes._

_The sight shouldn’t have made Tim happy but it did. Tim wasn’t the only one who had been swept of his feet this vacation._

_“I couldn’t forget about you even if I wanted to, Conner,” Tim admitted._

_Lowering his head, Conner chuckled and even though he was staring at the ground, Tim could see the redness of his cheeks._

_“You really do know how to make my heart skip a beat, blue,” he said and when he looked up, he had the brightest smile on his face, one that only Tim got to see._

_While Conner was friendly and kind to everyone he met, plastering on a smile that seemed to last through the day, only a few people got to see his true self. There was more to him than being a country boy helping out his ageing relatives. He had dreams and ambitions, ideas and feelings, secrets that he only shared with Tim in the night as they watched the stars. That was also the time when Tim got to see him smile freely._

_Just like he was doing right now._

_“Where do you think we should go after I graduate?” Tim asked, stroking Conner’s cheek._

_As his eyes fluttered shut, Conner hummed. “Maybe we could go to the beach?”_

_Instead of dwelling on the fact that they wouldn’t see each other for a while, Tim and Conner spoke about the future, making plans and dreaming of being together._

_It was everything._

  


_  
_

_  
_

Rather than mourning, Tim found it easier to distance himself from people. Whether it was his new family or his friends, he cut them all off.

After the funeral, instead of crying and seeking comfort in the arms of those who loved him, Tim disabled his social media, looking away from the memories of the past, ones that made him weak. When Cassie called, he never picked up and found reasons to ignore her messages. When Bart greeted him at school, Tim kept their conversation as minimal as possible, taking up enough responsibilities to keep him busy throughout the day. Did he care about the student council? But he joined anyway because this way he had an excuse for never being around. Slowly and steadily, he stopped talking to his friends altogether, finding loneliness more comfortable. Sometimes, he would find Bart and Cassie staring at him with worry, a look that made his heartache. He did miss them but they would be better off without him.

They would be safer.

Conner had tried to get in touch with Tim. He texted often, called and left behind voicemails only to never get a response. At one point, he ever tried to send a message through Cassie but Tim never read it. Instead, he threw the piece of paper away, knowing that if he read it, he would want to talk to Conner. Something he could never allow himself to do.

At home, he kept to his room, only leaving to eat his meals. Alfred had a rule that at least during mealtime everyone had to be together. Tim didn’t really care about this but he didn’t complain either. After all, the Wayne’s had been kind enough to give him shelter, to give him a home.

Tim had plans of moving out as soon as he was of age but maybe Bruce so that coming and prepared for it. Instead of letting Tim leave, he asked the younger to work for him, maybe inter so he would understand the business better. Bruce promised that if he did this, one day Tim would be able to revive Drake Industries. The mention of his family was enough to convince Tim to stay.

Four years after his father’s death, Tim still didn’t cry. He never thought of his family, of all the things he had lost. He never even visited his parents grave because he knew that if he did, the emotions that he had been burying would finally breakthrough. They would find him and force him to feel things he never wanted to.

Soon, the family expanded. First came Damian and then Stephanie, two people who somehow wormed their way into Tim’s life. Damian because he was constantly competing with everyone to show that he was, in fact, Bruce’s one and only heir. Stephanie because for some reason, she couldn’t leave Tim alone. But even with these changes, Tim managed. He found a way to maintain his distance, to never love someone again.

That was until Dick Grayson showed up in his life.

Tim was sure that he had erased every link to his past, buried every memory, forgotten every anniversary. But then, one day, Jason brought home a man that Tim was sure he had seen before, a man who recognized him as well. Once known as a part of the Flying Graysons, Tim had seen Dick when he was performed with his family at the circus. In his green, red and yellow costume, the teen had been so free, smiling as though he had been blessed with all the happiness in the world. Tim, whose parents no longer loved one another and were never around, wanted to be Dick. As the older hugged him tightly, taking Tim in his arms for a picture, and being just a child, Tim had loved him wholeheartedly.

But because Tim loved him, tragedy had struck Dick Grayson, robbing him of his smile.

Tim had explained this to Dick, showed him all the reasons why he should maintain his distance if he wanted to be happy. But Dick hadn’t cared. Instead, he held Tim close, just the way he had done once, told him that he had done nothing wrong, that his love wasn’t a curse and that it was time to let go of the past. They were such easy words to say, ones that shouldn’t have had any power over Tim. But somehow, he found himself crying for the first time in four years, reliving the day his father died, and finally feeling the pain that came with losing everything he held dear.

 _“I’m sorry,”_ Tim had wailed into Dick’s arms. _“I’m so sorry,”_ he had chanted until his throat was sore and his eyes burned from crying too much.

Instead of leaving, Dick stayed and wiped away his tears. Then came Jason with his sweet smile and helping hand, an offer he had made multiple time over the years. Only this time, Tim didn’t turn him away. Instead, he let himself feel love.

It was surreal how everything in Tim’s life changed from that day, how the darkness in his heart receded just a bit and the weight on his shoulders started to disappear. Instead of being wary around him, Alfred became more affectionate, treating Tim like a child. Bruce, on the other hand, still didn’t have a lot to say to him but once in a while, he would pat Tim’s head and tell him how proud he was, words that he hadn’t heard since he lost his father.

With his new family’s encouragement, Tim reached out to his old friends who took him back without any question. Cassie made him promise that he would stay in touch and talk more often. Bart made no such demands. Instead, he just called Tim every evening to ramble about the most random things. And that meant everything.

But here’s the thing. While Tim let people into his heart, he still maintained a safe distance. He loved his family with his whole heart, he loved them so much that sometimes it hurt. But it was because he loved them that he knew that he had to love them a little less, care just enough to be noticed but never more than that. If he could find a way to keep his emotions contained, his curse would never reach out to anyone else.

No one would have to get hurt because of him.

Not his family, not his friends, not Dick and especially not Conner.

Even though the time they spent with each other was short, Conner was a memory of a time when Tim was truly happy, when the world wasn’t a dark hole he couldn’t escape from and nightmares didn’t haunt his dreams every night. Conner was everything Tim wanted and everything he could never have. He was Tim’s happiness and his freedom, the wings with which he could learn to fly again.

And Tim had run away from him for years, from the memory of his smile, the sound of his voice, those blue eyes he always lost himself in.

Tim had been running for so long but somehow, his path had led him straight back to Conner.

Now, as he hid in his room, Conner stood on the other side of the door. He was real and breathing, warm and still the way Tim remembered him. This wasn’t just a figment of his imagination, a sweet dream that visited him once in a while.

“Open the door, Tim,” Conner said instead of knocking. “After you disappeared, I tried so hard to forget you, forget the days we spent together. I tried to move and find someone else but— _fuck –_ I couldn’t. I just… couldn’t. So won’t you open the door for me, Blue?”

Conner’s words pierced through Tim like an arrow shot straight through his heart, causing enough pain to bring him down to his knees but not enough to end his suffering. Everything Tim had always wanted was on the other side of the door, his past, the pieces of himself that he never thought he’d find again. All he had to do was open the door.

It was so easy.

But even though all Tim wanted was to bury himself in Conner’s arms, he could never let him in.

He could never open the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot of exposition in this chapter but I wanted to lay the groundwork for Tim and Conner's story, one that will pick up speed soon. I hope Tim's reasoning makes sense. 
> 
> P.S - Tim and his friends were staying with the Kents when they visited Kansas because Cassie's aunt Diana is close friends with Clark who actually offered for them to stay when Diana told him about Cassie's plan.

**Author's Note:**

> So, when the first part of this series ended, I was sure that it wouldn't have a sequel. It didn't need one. But then, one day, my mind said "Do it" and here we are. Someday, I'll be able to resist sequels, today is not that day. Anyway, more drama to come with new chapters. Yaay! 
> 
> PS - This fic will be focusing on multiple pairings.


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